Played Real Good For Free
by Kamouraskan
Summary: A peaceful future for our heroes can still not be quite perfect. So it’s good that one overworked Amazon Queen has a consort who is willing to take measures to reacquaint her with simpler times.


**Disclaimer:** Two women are in an implied loving relationship. There are lots of stories out there that will not be about caring and love, and for some reason wil be considered less likely to warp your sensibilities. Read them instead

Characters described herein are the property of Renpic, and are used here solely for enjoyment and not personal profit. The story is mine.

The title and story were inspired by Joni Mitchell's 'He Played Real Good For Free.'

**Played Real Good For Free**

**by **

**Kamouraskan**

The Bard was young, but enthusiastic and expressive. Her words and hands soared about the room as she vividly described an attack on her and her companion. The ruler watched with intent but sad eyed admiration, as the storyteller's eyes flashed, dominating the room. '_She was very good'_, the ruler was thinking, when one of the Royal Guard approached and knelt.

"My Liege?"

The ruler glanced over wearily, once more anticipating the painstaking negotiations that would begin early the next morning.

"One more moment," was the command. Then there was a pause, and the voice added, "Please."

The Guard, caught between the constraints of the schedule and devoted loyalty, gave a quick nod and took a nearby seat with the rest of the retinue. On the stage, the Bard continued to describe a fight in which her companion had beaten half a dozen slavers single-handedly. The ruler noted with amusement that the storyteller had been pushed aside to safety when the fighting began, and that there clearly was some resentment about that. But there was nothing but admiration in her voice for her comrade, and the room was silent as she continued to describe their exploits. There was not a sound in the tavern until she finally brought the story to a conclusion. The bard stood and acknowledged the applause.

As the Bard left the stage, the Guard was again at her side.

"Queen Gabrielle?"

With a sigh, the Queen indicated that some dinars should be taken to the Bard, and she made her meditative way to the carriage. The Amazons that acted as her bearers leaped instantly to attention. As much as the Queen hated the formality, she acknowledged the necessity for security and the obligation to impress when on State visits. But there was a tall substantial figure that did not jump to attention, but rather uncoiled to stand erect as she approached.

"You weren't ready to go, were you?" The Consort was frowning.

The Queen gave a small quiet smile. "She was very good..."

"....but not the best," her Consort appended.

The Queen took her Consort's hand and gripped it, then passed through the door into the landau, and settled inside. The Consort stared after her with concern. As the sedan was raised she walked alongside, her attention on security, on the passersby, but her focus was as always, for the woman inside.

"You could still do that, you know."

Gabrielle, Queen of all the Amazon Nations, laughed. "Right..." There was an ironic gesture to all the trappings of royalty, the accumulation of power that her ten years as Queen had provided. The amalgamation and growth of the various tribes of Amazons had made their Queen a force in Greek and world politics, but her dislike of the protocols had never diminished.

"I'm serious," Xena continued. "You keep promising that we'll take a break, not travel as Queen and Consort, but we always end up with some emergency or some mission..."

Gabrielle reached out to touch her Warrior. "Xena, it's all right...You know I wouldn't trade anything for this life, what we've had, and accomplished. I think I was just feeling a little old. We all get older... and there are things we have to trade off for that and things we can't do anymore."

The Warrior snorted, "Speak for yourself." Startling the Amazon attendants, she executed a leap straight up, touched the landau ever so gently, and then alighted perfectly on the other side.

Or as only the Queen's sharp eyes noted, almost perfectly.

The Queen smirked. "You're gonna be limping...!"

The Warrior stared straight ahead. "Not till we get back to our room."

There was a chuckle from inside the carriage, and as promised there was no sign of any injury as the Royal couple made their way to the palace.

The conversation was forgotten through the long days of negotiations, but on the night of the successful signing, the Queen awoke, startled, and alone. There was a movement and a slumping sound outside of the door. Quietly reaching for her sais, she was already in a defensive crouch when Xena dragged in the unconscious Amazon guard.

"What do you think you're doing?" the Queen demanded in exasperation

The warrior said calmly, "You needed a break."

Gabrielle's eyes widened in anger. "So you started with her head?"

The warrior looked at her partner with some amusement. "No, it's just the 'pinch'. Get dressed."

The Queen didn't move.

"Come on!" her Consort urged.

"Xena, I can't just go and play hooky with you! I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was pining for some lost lifetime, but it'll pass. I have responsibilities to the Nation, and you swore fealty to that same Nation."

Xena approached her slowly, her pressure point fingers waving ominously. "Nope. I swore fealty to you. And when your concerns come ahead of the Nation's, or if there ever was a conflict..." She continued her threatening advance.

Gabrielle moved to put the bed between them. "Xena, this is ridiculous, we aren't kids anymore, we can't..."

Xena made a feint with her fingers, and followed with quick deak, which the Queen barely avoided, but caused her to topple, and the warrior scooped her up in her arms before she could move away. "You know," she said to the protesting bundle. "The more you talk like that, the more I'm convinced you need a vacation."

Gabrielle crossed her arms and a pout formed on her face. "Fine. Whatever you do, grab my sais, they're on the bed." Supporting the Queen in her arms, Xena instead opened the door and brought in the staff she had secreted outside.

Gabrielle looked at the familiar object in puzzlement. "Is that what this is about? Xena, we can't go back, I don't need or want to be that little girl again."

The look on her warrior's face silenced her. "I don't want or need that little girl either, Love. But, this staff, it's not about being young, not for me." And she presented the stave to her.

Gabrielle shook her head, but accepted it. "You're becoming a sentimental old fool, you know that?"

The former Destroyer of Nations frowned. "Yes, I believe that's true. And if you tell anyone, I will have to kill you. Painfully and slowly."

"Oooooh. You are soooo scary." The Queen mocked.

The window was opened revealing a ladder outside, resting against the sill. Gabrielle snickered as Xena, still carrying the Queen, began to step onto it. "I can remember when you didn't need a ladder."

Xena's face froze for a moment, and then she stepped off the ladder. Gabrielle gave a shriek as they plummeted to the ground, landing in the midst of a group of armed Amazons.

Chilapa took in the scene. The Consort escaping out of a window with a somewhat, mildly resisting Amazon Queen in her arms. The Regent frowned with as much hauteur as the scene allowed. She asked cautiously, "Just what is going on here?"

The Consort looked down to the Queen, and then back to the Regent and her Amazon warriors.

"I think it's a kidnapping," she replied seriously. Gabrielle looked up and nodded agreement. Xena looked back to the Regent. "Yes, it's definitely a kidnapping."

Chilapa mulled this over. "How long would you say this kidnapping is going to take?"

There was another wordless exchange between captor and victim, both eventually shrugging. "We don't know," Xena finally replied.

The Regent thought about that. "Perhaps there could be a few messages, like a ransom note every little while...?"

Both looked to the other again. "Kidnappings usually have ransom notes, Right?" Gabrielle asked. Xena nodded and proposed, "Okay. Regular ransom notes. We don't need to include a lock of her hair or anything? Maybe a finger?"

The Queen grabbed one of the Consort's digits and twisted it ever so slightly. "You know whose finger it'll be?"

Xena continued to stand expressionlessly, but Chilapa noted a small strain on around her neck as the finger was not released. "I don't think fingers will be necessary," she assured the Consort.

"Or a ransom really," Gabrielle pointed out.

Xena carefully removed her bruised digit and contradicted, "We can discuss that in the ransom notes."

Chilapa tried to keep her amusement from showing, and asked, "What do we tell the delegates, when the Amazon Queen isn't present for the banquet tomorrow in her honour?"

The kidnapper cut in on the Amazon Queen's response. "Tell them that the Queen, like the rainbow, comes and goes. And yet I know, we'er I go, there hath passed away a glory from the earth."

"Then tell them I'm involved in some strenuous... negotiations," Gabrielle added.

"At your command," Chilapa bowed, which was duplicated by the rest of the Amazons as the Warrior carried her off towards the trees. Before the couple disappeared into the night, they heard one final exchange

"That was really excellent, that bit about the rainbow," the Queen was saying,

"Thank you. It only seems fair, you've gotten a bit of the warrior, so I get a touch of the Bard."

"Really? Is that really how it works?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, for that, you'll get a lot of the touch of the bard..."

* * * *

The Prince watched with the peasantry in the tavern as the bard weaved her spell. He had not touched his wine from the moment she had begun, and he knew his aides would soon be demanding that he return to his chariot. His plans to meet with the Queen of the Amazons had again been postponed and he had only meant to tarry for a moment in this common tavern. But that plan had been swept away the moment the bard had taken the stage.

She was a very attractive woman, small, but simply dressed. There had hardly been a sound for over two candlemarks, and still she held them all in her thrall. '_Beautiful AND talented'_, he thought as he watched her move about the stage. She had reached the climax of her story of Troy; descriptions so vivid that it was as if they all stood on the ramparts watching that great battle.

She finished, and the room was silent for a few heartbeats before erupting in cheers and cries for more. With a shy smile and a shake of the head, the bard moved from the stage and there was a small commotion as some of the more eager fans tried to force their way to congratulate her. His guards positioned themselves to defend the Prince in case trouble resulted, but he directed them to help the small woman make her exit. It proved unnecessary when a tall, dark warrior woman stepped from a corner and instantly pacified the crowd. There was a grateful glance from the Bard to the bouncer, which was returned. And the Prince saw in that moment that there was no hope for his wish to ask for her name, or for her company. He was wise enough to know when a heart had already been claimed. He sighed, and directed his man to take some coins to her, so that at least she might sleep comfortably for the night.

He wondered about the Fates. He had once practiced his lute and dreamed of performing, of being a travelling minstrel. But the deaths of his brothers had forced him to the position he now occupied, and he had become too accustomed to the finer things in life to regret the loss.

As he moved towards his chariot, he saw the warrior and the bard with a stave, making their way, holding hands, passing the closing markets. They both moved with an easy familiarity that came only from long-time companionship. He climbed to his seat, still watching when the larger woman was swatted on the rear with the tip of the staff by the Bard. A quick warrior's boot returned the smack. There was a lighthearted exchanged of some kind, which resulted in the smaller woman laughing and giggling, right there in the middle of the street.

'_That Life could be so simple_,' he thought, and the longing he felt, caused a small pang of jealousy, but that was eased by a moment of imagining their lives. Two women, on the road, sleeping and eating where and what was available? There was no reason to envy them. He signalled his men to proceed, but he gained one last impression of the two women before they pulled out. The large dark woman was standing behind and holding the smaller blonde, while the Bard was pointing out some aspect of the last rays of the sunset, nestled safely in her arms.

Envy? Yes, there was some envy in his heart.

He was, in spite of it all his wealth and power, still human.

His chariot began to draw away from them, and as the sun set, it seemed to him as though there was only a single figure, drawn in the darkest of light.


End file.
